There's No Way He Caught That!
by ladeesarah001
Summary: ONE-SHOT - When the Cullens play baseball how do they know that Edward actually caught the ball? It's an interesting question, I think, and could easily lead to an argument.


Disclaimer – I hold no proprietary or artistic rights over Twilight or any of the characters or scenarios created by Stephanie Meyer.

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**Summary/Introduction**

The Cullens have to wait for a thunderstorm before they can play baseball. The thunder helps with one of the logistical requirements, allowing them to play and disguise the sounds of their hits and collisions. But the real question is: how do they know Edward actually caught the ball?

"_Edward is very fast."_

This little piece came about after a comment from one of my betas for my story Balance of Power, Julie, after she read my baseball scene. The general sentiment being how on earth do the Cullens know that Edward actually caught the ball? He could so easily cheat.

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There's No Way He Caught That!**

One-shot

A thunderous crack resounded through the clearing as the bat made contact and sent the ball flying, deep into the surrounding forest. Alice didn't move an inch from where she had pitched the ball, but Carlisle was running beside Emmett in a blur of motion, ready to tag him out. Emmett cleared home plate and launched into the beginnings of one of his incredibly ridiculous victory dances. His arms were swaying over his head while he rocked his hips back and forth, around and to the side, in a manner reminiscent of a belly dancer. The lessons he had taken for losing a bet the year before last had really paid off, in the most disturbing way possible.

"Out," called Esme, as a victorious Edward emerged from the trees, waving a ball overhead.

"There's no way he caught that!" Emmett bellowed in disbelief.

"Oh, stop being such a sour puss!" Alice laughed. With a quick movement of his arm, Edward returned the ball to her.

Alice stopped spinning the leather ball in her hands as her whole body froze and her eyes glazed over. Moments later, a spectacular smile spread across her lips. It was clear that she was employing all of her self control not to bounce on the spot and clap her hands in excitement; a wicked glint had found its way into her eyes.

"If you didn't see Edward apologising for cheating, I don't want to know," Emmett grumbled.

"Emmett! Edward would not cheat," Esme chastised.

"Well how else does he _always_ catch my balls?" Emmett asked, his words laced heavily with sarcasm.

Alice couldn't contain her mirth this time, giggles erupting from her lips. Jasper soon followed, laughing heartily, no longer able to contain his amusement as he was assaulted by his wife's good humour. Even Esme was soon snickering at Emmett's accidental allusion.

"What?" asked Emmett, genuinely confused by the laughter erupting around him.

"Emmett, let me assure you in the plainest of terms, that I firstly _do not_ cheat, and secondly, that I have _never_ touched your balls," Edward choked out between snorts of laughter.

"Nope, these are only for Rosie," Emmett confirmed, gesturing to his crotch, now sporting his trademark grin. He finally caught on but wasn't the least bit embarrassed. "But you do cheat."

"I do not!" Edward snapped in response, placing his hand on his hip and jutting it out to the side.

"Do too!" retorted Emmett, stomping his foot belligerently.

The rest of the family followed the argument with expressions ranging from bemusement to anticipation. Esme was shaking her head at their childlike behaviour; Carlisle was struggling to keep his face straight, while Rosalie simply rolled her eyes. The whole family felt that there was a distinct possibility that Jasper was egging this fight on for his own amusement. No one cared though as they took in the ludicrous scene unfolding before them.

"You're just a sore loser," accused Edward.

"Okay, then how do you do it?" Emmett asked.

"Edward is very fast," Esme reminded everyone, not that anyone could forget.

"We all know that," continued Emmett as he rolled his eyes. "But how do we know that he actually caught it? We can't see, he could have dropped the ball, how would we know? Or maybe he keeps a spare in his pocket…"

"A spare in my pocket?" Edward asked incredulously. "How would I sneak a protuberance that large past six vampires?"

"Humph!" Emmett huffed.

"See, you're being silly," Esme soothed.

"No, I'm not," Emmett persisted. He turned to Rosalie seeking support, "He must be cheating, there's no way he could have fielded that ball."

"Emmett…" Rosalie began, obviously searching her mind for the words that would placate Emmett, wanting to support her mate. Secretly, she wished that she could tell him what an ass he was being, but didn't have the heart because he was clearly quite invested in the argument.

"I know!" Emmett declared with renewed enthusiasm. "He hides extra balls around the clearing. Then when he races off, rather than fielding the ball, he just picks up another ball and brings that back."

"Emmett…" Rosalie and Esme start, with tired yet incredulous voices.

"Actually, that could work," Jasper mused, while fighting to keep the smile from his face. "Maybe we should check to see if we can find some?"

"I'll help too," Alice offered as her small frame vibrated with amusement, excitement, and the giggles that she was desperately trying to suppress.

Carlisle shook his head wearily and was about to object to his children's ridiculous plan when he started to feel enthusiastic and hopeful. Maybe they would find baseballs stashed around the baseball clearing? Emmett was already striding through the trees searching earnestly for baseballs, like a four year old hunting for chocolate eggs at Easter time. Everyone except for Emmett knew that the enthusiasm for this hunt was being conjured by Jasper, but Emmett's antics were too funny for them to care. The baseball game was abandoned. Emmett scoured the surrounding forest for a good fifteen minutes, to the whole family's amusement, before he even began to start losing urgency.

"Hmm, maybe he hid them under a tree?" Alice offered thoughtfully.

"Good idea," Emmett pounced on the ridiculous suggestion, immediately he started uprooting trees, still searching for the elusive extra baseballs.

When Emmett was onto his seventh tree, Alice completely lost it. She fell to her knees and rolled onto her back, clutching at her stomach, as a fit of laughter engulfed her. As soon as Jasper was hit by her emotions, he too broke down into a fit of laughter and projected the emotion over the rest of the family. After several solid minutes of laughter, the family sobered up. Wordlessly, they headed back to the clearing to collect the abandoned sports equipment.

"Maybe you should stick to Snakes and Ladders for a bit?" Rosalie offered absently with a smirk, breaking the silence.

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Author's Note:

Thanks Julie and Melissa for enjoying my romp, and thanks again Melissa for the beta.

17-August-2009  
24-August-2009 -- beta'd


End file.
